Top Ten Reasons Why You Should NOT Eat Maui Gold Pineapples – Mr. Pineapple

Top Ten Reasons Why You Should NOT Eat Maui Gold Pineapples

It’s aloha Friday and summer is here! There is something about the summer time the food and drinks just taste all that much better on a hot summer day.  You decide to go to the local farmers market and pick up the freshest fruit and vegetables for the weekend to enjoy cooking on the grill or even have a nice snack around the house.  It's Friday afternoon and there is a package at the door which says "Maui Gold" on the box.  We advise you not to open it.  

Here are 10 reasons why you should NOT eat Maui Gold Pineapples

  1. Once you have eaten Maui Gold, you will never want to purchase a pineapple in your local grocery store.
  2. You brought home 3 Maui Gold Pineapples from vacation and they are all eaten on day one.  Now you have entered the "I told you we should have bought more" argument.
  3. You decide to ship a Maui Gold to your mother-in-law. Now she calls you every day asking when you're sending more.
  4. Maui Gold has been known to heal your body quicker in terms of cuts, bruising and even surgeries.  You get your credit card statement only to find there has been a significant increase in plastic surgeries and Maui Gold Pineapples.
  5. You are standing at the Mr. Pineapple counter, you may experience flashbacks of your wedding day when you had to decide who gets on the list.  Caution: this has been known to cause arguments between couples of who gets a pineapple and who doesn't.
  6. We just have to state #5 again for those that are getting married again or renewing their vows 20 years later.
  7. It's Christmas and your Gold card is maxed out because you bought all Maui Gold for everybody on the list.
  8. If you want to remain under the radar at work, do not bring Maui Gold Pineapples into the break room.
  9. You bring in a dozen Maui Gold Pineapples to the family reunion and now they call you the pineapple guy.  That may be a step up for some people.
  10. Drum Roll......The number 10 reason why you should not buy Maui Gold Pineapple, you will have visions and possibly hallucinations of that romantic evening on the beach with that special someone when you bite into a Maui Gold Pineapple.

If you want to enjoy the fruit you have just purchased at the store, you may want to donate this box of Maui fruit to your neighbor.  You decide to have a peak inside.  You break the tape, carefully unwrap the Maui Gold Pineapple and read the note from Uncle John, "Aloha, having a wonderful trip in Maui and thought we'd send you a little bit of Maui."  At this point, you're simply jealous that Uncle John is in Maui so you cut the pineapple open just in spite that you just finished a long week at work and Monday is coming way to soon.  

At this point, you are breaking a sweat from just working on getting the pineapple cut open, the counter is full of pineapple juice, remnants of pineapple falling in the sink and on the floor and you're thinking of Uncle John sipping down his Mai Tai on the beach right now.

You take the first bite of the Maui Gold Pineapple.  Your taste buds feel like they just came alive for the first time.  The second bite can't be as good as the second, I mean the more bites of pineapple, you get the cut up feeling in your mouth.  You take another bite and another.  Just before you know it, you have finished the whole pineapple Uncle John just sent you.  Just then, your spouse walks in with all of the kids from school..."Hi honey."  It's too late!

Enjoy your summer making pineapple drinks and recipes.  Be sure to share your favorite with us.

1 comment

  • These are all too true!!!! I brought home 3 and we ate them immediately upon arrival in Maine! So I ordered more!!! I tried to hide them, hoard them but again GONE!!!! Gave 2 away and called to get them back but…… GONE!!! Will be placing another order SOON!!!!! Thanks for providing those of us who have been lucky enough to visit Hawaii this amazing service!!! Capt. Julie Eaton Lobster boat captain

    Julie Eaton

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